Seek the Devil
by Ivyclimb
Summary: /A mysterious disappearance/ /Unanswered questions/ /Lies forged in blood/ When you need help; seek the Devil.
1. Chapter 1

"Hello world, it's your man Damian! 'Bout to piss off my girl again, since y'all seem to enjoy that so much. I don't really know if this is worth it..." A quiet sigh left his lips, his dark eyes closing before springing back open as a grin took over his features. He peered into the camera on his phone, wiggling his eyebrows as he brought an air horn into view. "But I got a louder horn this time so it best be worth it!" Damian looked behind him at the couch, angling the camera over his shoulder so that his viewers could see the sleeping form of a girl. Long brown hair hung over her face as she slept; her skinny form engulfed in one of Damian's old college sweatshirts that she had long since claimed as her own.

The camera shifted back up to Damian's dark face, a genuine smile causing dimples to form in his cheeks. "This is going to be good."

 _Sunlight stole into the room through the half opened windows, the busy morning sounds of the city slowly drawing Jalen out of slumber. Her long eyelashes fluttered before her eyes slowly opened, half hidden by her long locks of dark chestnut hair. Nothing hid her naked body from the world except a white sheet but even then she felt a soft hand lazily tracing shapes on her bare back._

 _"Good morning, beautiful," a crisp voice greeted her, drawing her attention to the source. Jalen found herself staring into a familiar face, already aware of every detail and secret that it held. Genuine blue eyes glistened down at her, soft pink lips turned upward in a lazy smile. Blonde hair adorned his head in a mess of curls, resting peacefully against the pillow._

 _"Asher?" Jalen asked cautiously, her eyebrows scrunching together in utter confusion. His blue eyes lit up in amusement, his fingertips dancing along her back causing goosebumps to form on her skin._

 _"I do believe that is my name," he laughed, his lips forming into the familiar smile that Jalen loved so much. He shifted slightly in the bed, causing Jalen to notice how intimately close they were. She could feel every movement he made and noticed he smelled faintly of mint and oranges; a strange combination that always seemed accompany him. Jalen loved it. She shook her head, getting lost in every detail about the man before her._

 _"Did you sleep well?" He questioned, moving some of her hair out of her face as to view her eyes better. His hand then returned to her back as if out of habit._

 _"But how can you be here?" She whispered, ignoring his question. Hurt spread through her hazel eyes as they searched his. Though she longed to run a hand through his soft curls, she feared he might disappear if she moved._

 _"I don't leave for California until tomorrow, silly. You and New York are stuck with me for another day." His wonderful laugh continued in her ears, causing the corner of her lips to twitch into an unwanted smile. Jalen wondered how he saw nothing wrong with the current situation, but even she found herself forgetting the full extent of the problem._

 _"But you're gone." The words felt odd coming from her mouth, and Jalen finally saw Asher become faintly concerned. He sat up slightly, turning to lean over her as he supported himself on his elbow. His strong form threatened to distract Jalen again, the sheet falling as he changed positions until it rested just above his hips. Asher's toned chest rose and fell as he breathed, and it was all Jalen could do to not simply lay and watch it._

 _The hand that was tracing circles on her skin left her back to caress her face. Jalen leaned into it slightly against her better judgement. "Jay, I'm not gone, and when I am tomorrow, it will only be for a week." He looked into her eyes, offering a light smile. When he saw she looked less than convinced, he gently pulled her hand from her side and intertwined their fingers, pressing a light kiss to each one. "You must have had a bad dream. Come here," he tugged her hand softly, and Jalen found herself seeking his embrace. It was just a bad dream, and the more Jalen thought of it, the harder it was to remember. She snuggled her head into his bare chest, closing her eyes as she listened to his strong heartbeat. She felt his muscular arm wrap around her, pulling her closer, and soon after his soft lips pressed to the top of her head. She smiled in content, relaxing into the quiet sounds of the city._

A loud horn sounded beside Jalen's head, ripping her from her blissful dream. A loud scream erupted from her mouth, her body rapidly trying to get itself up. Only when she was standing straight up and looking around wildly did she register the loud laughs coming from Damian. His whole body was shaking with laughter, his phone capturing the entire thing with one hand, the other still grasping the air horn.

"Dio, stop it!" She screamed, grabbing a throw pillow and throwing it at him harshly. The level of shock traveling through her body slowly died down, however the confusion only grew. She threw him one last glare before turning and stalking away, the image of Asher still fresh in her mind.

"Oh come on, Jalen! You know this is how I pay off student loans!" Damian called after her, shooting the camera one last grin before ending the video and chasing after her. She often got annoyed with his little pranks and annoying videos, but she'd never seemed this upset before. She would always offer an irritated " _Dio, why?"_ or " _Dio, do you realize you're not actually funny?"_ and then give the camera a small smile or ended it with a lame joke, and everything would be okay.

As Damian walked across their apartment, he stopped at her door and knocked. "Babe, you alright?" He asked after a moment of not hearing anything. He gave a light sigh, before knocking again. "Babe?"

A few more moments passed before the door suddenly opened, revealing a freshly clothed Jalen. In a thin purple sweater that clung to her body and red skinny jeans that really complimented her rear, she was in the process of putting her hair up as she walked past a very surprised Damian and into the kitchen.

"Jalen…?" He questioned, and she turned to smile at him, tying the elastic band around her textured hair.

"Sorry, Dio, you just caught me off guard. But it's a good thing you woke me up because I need to go see a friend in Hell's Kitchen."

Damian stopped, leaning against the kitchen counter. He raised an eyebrow, playing with the stem of a pear in the fruit basket next to him. "Oh yea, and who might that be?" Jalen walked over to him slowly, an innocent smile playing on her face.

"His name is Matt. He's a lawyer." She answered, wrapping her arms around his neck. Damian's hands automatically placed themselves on her waist as he smiled down at her. His hands slowly snuck under her shirt, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles on the skin above her hips.

"And what do you need a lawyer for?" He questioned, glancing at her with mild confusion.

"I'm divorcing you," she whispered solemnly, then giggled, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek and unwrapping herself from him. She grabbed an apple from the fruit basket on the countertop, taking a bite from it as she winked at him.

Damian smiled and let out a chuckle, rolling his eyes. "We're not married, Jalen."

"No," she took a step back as he took a step towards her, "but now you know that I know a good lawyer." She continued to back up until she was near the door, finally letting Damian wrap his arms around her waist once more.

"And how do you plan on getting there?"

"Driving?" She asked in return, giving a sheepish smile.

"But you don't have a…oh," Damian realized as she held her hand out to him what she wanted, and he looked at her grudgingly.

"I'll be back in three hours," she pleaded, sticking out her lower lip.

"You know, I bet he'd represent you in court against me even if you two weren't friends," he grumbled, dropping his keys into her waiting hand.

"Why, because I'm a woman?" She asked closing her fingers around the keys and looking back up at Damian with amusement filled eyes.

"No, because I'm black," he answered honestly, causing Jalen to snort. "What? Lawyers hate black people. Proven fact." Damian was a bit offended that she seemed to find this so funny, and decided to poke her in the side for laughing at him.

"Dio, he's blind!" She laughed, causing him to give a sheepish laugh.

"Oh," he grinned at her, loving the sound of her laugh. His embarrassment would always be worth it.

"Yea, 'oh'", she giggled, leaning up to give him a quick kiss. "See you in a bit."

She went to open the door but was pulled back, feeling soft lips against hers once more. She smiled as she kissed him back, pulling away to insist upon her leaving. This happened several more times until she convinced him that she really had to go and was finally allowed to leave.

Once she was safely away from Damian's view and in his car, her smile fell and worry encompassed her. Her hands gripped the wheel so tightly that her knuckles began to turn white, and it was several minutes before she had the courage to turn the engine on. As she began to drive, she only had one goal in mind. Find Matthew Murdock.

As she pulled out into the street, her hand absentmindedly turned on the radio and she hummed along softly as she tried to do anything but remember.

 _The wind sent the rain crashing against the windows in such a force that it seemed near impossible the glass didn't shatter. The dark clouds of the sky cut off all natural light from entering the apartment. Thunder boomed overhead so loud that one had to talk in a shout just to be heard when it struck. Lightning illuminated the skies for brief seconds of time, casting long shadows on the walls._

 _A heavy figure lay sprawled out on the couch, adorned in black and bleeding heavily from several wounds. A black cloth mask lay dropped on the ground by the doorway, a trail of blood staining the carpet. Soft tunes from a radio could faintly be heard during the rare quiet moments of the storm._

 _"Ash, that was dangerous and reckless!" Jalen scolded in slight panic, rushing around opening doors and cupboards. He said nothing, partly due to the focus he was putting into not passing out. Jalen, dressed similar to him, placed her mask on the counter as she continued searching the various cabinets around the apartment. "Ugh, where does Matt keep his medical kits?" She mumbled to herself, casting a warried glance to the couch._

 _When she found one she rushed over to his side, kneeling on the ground and hovering over him. She reached for his shirt, ready to peel it off and see the severity of his wounds, when he reached out and grabbed her wrist._

 _"The boy. Is he…is he safe?" Jalen smiled through her worry, taking her hand from his grip and pressing her cool fingers to his forehead. She looked into his eyes, smoothing his hair down._

 _"He'll be fine, Ashy. Matt went after him so I could get you here, remember?" Asher closed his eyes and nodded, breathing deeply through his nose._

 _Jalen passed her fingers through his hair once more, before gingerly lifting up his shirt to view the long gashes in his toned flesh. She sighed in relief, having feared much worse and having seen much worse before. She quickly went to work stitching him up – finding she had gotten quite good at it over the years._

 _When she had finished she gave Asher's limp hand a squeeze, deciding to take a shower as he slept off some of the pain. Her eyes shed tears as she turned on the hot water and let it scald away the fears of one day losing the boy in the next room._

 _When the water began to cool, Jalen shut it off and changed into a spare change of clothes she kept at Matt's for moments exactly like this. She brushed her long hair, twisting it up into a messy bun. As she exited the bathroom, she noticed the radio had moved and was now perched by Asher's head, the soft tunes playing throughout the now quiet room._

 _The storm had settled to a slow rain, the sky dark and gloomy above. Jalen softly padded over to the couch where she sat on the edge, feeling Asher's forehead with her hand._

 _"Mmh, that feels good," he said, a small smile tracing his lips. Jalen laughed, caressing his cheek for a moment before protesting when Asher made a move to sit up._

 _"No, no, dance with me," he insisted, gently grabbing her hand. She gave him a hard gaze, but didn't stop him as he sat up and pressed his forehead against hers. Jalen's eyes fluttered shut as his lips softly pushed against hers, fire dancing through her body. As they separated, Asher kept his forehead pressed firmly against hers. "Dance with me." He commanded with a pleading voice, searching her eyes._

 _Jalen allowed him to stand after he turned the radio up, letting him use her for support. Jalen shook her head at the recognizable tune, watching with a light smile as Asher wrapped her into a tight embrace, swaying side to side._

 _"You can't_ not _dance to Bon Jovi," he chuckled, looking down at her with pure love in his eyes. Jalen snuck her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder._

 _"I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is_

 _And lay you down on a bed of roses..."_

Jalen found herself standing outside of Matt's apartment, the faint feeling of Asher's lips still on her own. Silent tears streamed down her face, her hand shaking as she knocked on the door.

"Matt!" She called, voice cracking slightly as she tried again. "Matt, please, it's important. I know- I know you haven't seen me in a while...but please…I-I need you." Her forehead pressed against the door as she continued to plead, more tears falling with every passing second.

When it was beyond clear Matt was not currently home, Jalen pushed herself away from the door. She rubbed her face, trying to even her ragged breaths as she fought to remain calm. She looked at Damian's car, hands sliding away from her face as she slowly nodded.

Her next stop was at Nelson and Murdock, and if Matt wasn't there Jalen had no idea what she would do. She exited the car, standing between it and the car door as she stared up at the building. Jalen could remember every detail of it, from the sign hanging on the door to the cracks in the bricks. She glanced around her once more before shutting the car door and walking in.

Jalen was mildly surprised to see dozens of people waiting inside the law firm, a steady chatter filling her ears. Even at its prime, the place was never this busy when Jalen had worked here. She tentatively took a few more steps into the building, before being greeted by the familiar Karen Page.

"You can just take a seat over – Oh my god, Jalen?" Several people turned their heads upon the sudden excitement, but when they failed to recognize the girl being fussed over, they turned back to filling out paperwork.

Karen stood frozen in shock, the only movement being some of her ginger hair spilling over her shoulder. The surprise soon turned into pure glee when Jalen smiled and gave a small wave, causing Karen to start crying.

"I don't see you for over a year and all you can do is wave?" She cried, smiling as she pulled Jalen into a bone-crushing hug.

"Sorry. It's so good to see you, Karen," she spoke, gripping Karen with just as much force. However, Jalen soon pulled away and looked at Karen with her own tear-brimmed eyes. "Can I speak to Matt? It's urgent."

"Of course," Karen nodded, grabbing Jalen's hand and leading her through the sea of people.

"Wow, busy place," Jalen laughed, causing Karen to join before nodding excitedly.

"Yea, it's really picked up. We've helped a lot of people." Jalen smiled, glad to hear that Nelson and Murdock was doing some good in the world. "Here, just wait in his office. I'll fetch them." She nodded and walked into Matt's office, sitting in one of the chairs opposite his desk. As she looked around, she rolled her eyes but could help to utter a small laugh. While the waiting room had undergone significant changes, every single detail about Matt's office was just as she remembered it to be; right down to the unevenly hung photo of her and Matt the day he agreed she could work here.

It wasn't long before Jalen heard familiar voices, and she eagerly stood up from her seat.

"What do you mean she's back?" Foggy asked, reaching for the doorknob. Upon laying eyes Jalen, he abruptly stopped, causing Matt to bump into him. "Holy shit," he whispered, looking wildly at Matt.

"Jalen?" He asked, closing the door behind him.

"Hey Matt," she smiled, not being able to help it as it grew. "Foggy. It's nice to see you."

"Jalen!" Foggy shouted, bounding over and sweeping her up into a hug. She pressed a kiss to his cheek as he set her down, walking over to Matt where she stopped in front of him.

Tension filled the air for a minute before both broke out into smiles and laughs, gripping each other tightly not wanting to let go.

"Jay it's so good to see you again," Karen repeated, biting her lip. "But why are you here?" Her words were kind and full of concern for the younger girl before them.

"I'm so sorry I haven't visited sooner, really I am. I've missed you all so much, but…" Jalen's voice trailed off as everyone took a seat, unsure of how to begin.

"But after I told you to go live a normal life, you didn't have reason to come back anymore," Matt answered, fully understanding the situation. Karen rested a hand on Matt's arm, causing a light smile to pull at Jalen's lips. It was comforting to her to know that no matter what, some things didn't change. Karen must have noticed her smile, for red soon adorned her cheeks and ears. Jalen would have teased her for this, in not for the seriousness of what she came here to say.

"Yea. But, well, I'm sort of here about Ash." Her eyes shifted to the ground, her hands retreating into the sleeves of her sweater.

Karen and Foggy both gave her looks of shock at her words, while Matthew furrowed his eyebrows.

"Jalen, you know I'm still looking for him," he assured her, placing his hands on the desk in front of him.

"No, yea! I totally know that. It's not like I've completely given up either but…"

"But after five years it's only natural to have doubts." Foggy finished for her, receiving a thankful nod.

"I haven't dreamt of him for a while," she whispered, staring at the carpeted ground. "Not since-"

"Not since you met Damian over a year ago." She nodded, watching as Matt looked at her with sympathy, finding he had taken his glasses off sometime during her stumble of words. "Which is why I told you to leave when you met him. It was your chance to finally have something that you could hold onto."

Tears pricked in her eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time that day as she simply nodded again. "But you dreamt about him again, didn't you?" Karen asked, sadness underlying her question.

"It was the day before he left for California," Jalen cried softly, staring at Matt.

"The day before he disappeared?" Foggy asked rhetorically, his face scrunched up in confusion. She nodded anyway, causing him to press his lips together.

"It wasn't really a dream though," Jalen tried to explain, picking at a loose strand in her sweater. "It was a memory. Exactly how it happened but…but I don't know why I didn't think about it before." She took a deep breath, biting her lip as to concentrate her thoughts. "It was the morning before he would leave. I had just woken up, but I was confused. Matt, I asked how he could be there because I _knew_ he shouldn't be. He tried explaining to me that he didn't leave until the next day when I told him that he was couldn't be there because he was _gone._ "

Nobody spoke as she looked around, the same confusion and puzzlement portrayed on each of their faces. "He convinced me that I had had a bad dream, and I believed him. But it wasn't a dream, was it? Matt?"

She looked at him for advice, but still, no one could offer her any.

"I stopped at your apartment, but you weren't there. I didn't know where else to go," she whispered, covering her mouth with her hand to contain the sobs.

Matt stood up, walking around the room only to come to her and kneel by her side. He rested a hand on her shoulder, and she leaned forward until her tears stained the jacket of his suit. They stayed like that for several minutes – until Jalen ran out of tears – and he gave her shoulder a light squeeze.

"We all miss him, Jay, and we all want him back." He looked back to Foggy and Karen; though unable to see them he knew he had their support. "I'm sure none of us miss him as much as you do, but I'm sure it's just a chance dream. If it helps, I'll go out again tonight and search relentlessly for anything that might help."

Jalen leaned up from his shoulder, shaking her head repeatedly. "No, we've already done that hundreds of time, Matt. If there's anything that can tell us where Ash is, it's not in Hell's Kitchen. It's not even in New York for that sake. And you know I looked in California."

"Matt, I don't think it was some freak dream. On the way over I got another flashback. You remember when Ash went chasing after that little boy and got in serious trouble? And I had to haul him back to your place while you promised you would continue the search?"

Matt nodded slowly. "Yes, I remember. The little boy was fine, told me to thank the man in black." A small smile danced on his lips, though they were soon back into a frown.

"It's like I was there, Matt. I stitched him up, took a shower, and then we danced." Her eyes seemed to light up a little bit as she stared into space, lips twitching. "Remember? We were still dancing when you came back."

Matt pressed a firm kiss to her cheek, standing up and offering her a hand. She took it, looking down at the ground as not wanting to make eye contact with anyone.

"Matt, we have to find him." She encouraged forcefully, pulling her hand out of his.

Matt simply nodded, walking over to the door and opening it for her.

"We will, Jalen. I promise." Jalen walked out of the small office, turning back to give a light smile.

"I'm sorry, after fifteen months, I'm sure this isn't how you wanted to see me again." They all let out breaths of laughter, Matt's hand falling from the doorknob as he nodded to her.

"Visit soon."


	2. Chapter 2

Jalen sat in the car for a few minutes before doing anything. Once her face settled down and all the tears were wiped off, she checked her makeup in the mirror, wiping away the ruined mascara and trying to fix the rest as best she could. Her breaths came in shallow gasps, her heart beating right out of her chest.

He was her phantom; everywhere she looked she could see his outline, hear his voice, and feel his touch. She wanted to revert back to her old self and scream and cry and kick, but she had enough common sense to know that it would achieve nothing. She was beyond that; she hadn't been that scared little girl since Matt had started to train her all those years ago.

Of course, things had been different then. She was given something to live for, a place to call home and people to call friends.

Now she just had Damian. Upon her mentor's own request she had given up on it all, uprooted what meant most to her and threw it away. She started over, for the second time, and let him take over her life. Originally he was her white knight, appearing in the darkness like her one last hope at being happy.

But now Jalen knew the truth. She could see the parallels and draw the lines; Damian was her substitute. He had rescued her from a place of darkness just like Asher had, and nursed her back to health just the same. And Matt must have seen it too, in his own unique way. Damian was a free card, a replacement to fill in for what she lost.

She had given up so easily, let her life just wash away. She had convinced herself that four years of looking and finding nothing could only mean that he was gone. He was dead.

But now Jalen knew that she never really believed that, not really. The only difference was Matt kept searching and she didn't. She was too scared to find something she didn't want to see.

Shaking her head, she started the car again. Of course it was unfair to Damian, but to be honest she hadn't really realized she'd been using the man until just now. Over the feeling of guilt and regret against herself for not being faithful to Asher, she felt a bit bad for Damian, too.

She didn't have time to be emotional, but she felt the waterworks starting up again. She blamed it on the fact that she hadn't meditated for years. When giving up her secret night life after Asher disappeared, she found doing anything that reminded her of him was simply too painful. Apparently, that included participating in his stupidly effective meditating intermissions.

But now was the next step. What was she going to do? She was never very good about thinking of the future. For most of her life, she wished she wouldn't've had a future, and then Asher came along and all she knew was that he _was_ her future. When that fantasy was brutally murdered she only thought about finding him. But it never seemed to end and she slowly sank further and further into the dark pit of despair until she stopped thinking about it all together.

She parked the car back in the garage and suddenly dreaded going in. She couldn't string him along, could she? The truth was obvious; she would because she had to. She still needed him, needed some form of comfort to keep her rooted. She was way too close to just blowing away with the wind.

Their relationship had never been very fair; she realized that now, too. Jalen couldn't tell him anything about her past, Asher had helped her cover that up and she wasn't about to backtrack on all those years of hard work. She couldn't very well tell him about her days as Daredevil's stand in, all her dark lonely nights parading around the city trying to be a hero. Yet, she had never really been alone after Asher found her.

Damian met her out in the garage.

"Hey, you been in here a while. You okay?" He asked, closing the garage door that Jalen hadn't realized was still open. She wiped at her eyes and smiled at him, quickly getting out of the car. She threw him the keys, letting out an airy breath of laughter.

"Yea, I'm peachy. Just thinking. Thanks for letting me barrow the car!" She tried to move past him but he grabbed her wrist, turning her around. With a smile he wrapped his arms around her and she found herself suddenly disgusted by the familiar feeling. She was a horrible person.

"So, how's your lawyer friend? Mitt, right?"

"Matt," she corrected, coolly playing with her hair. "And he's good. Very busy being a lawyer, as it turns out. Who would have guessed?" She smiled up at him, ducking out of his embrace and walking back to the house. She could feel him right behind her, and she casually checked her reflection in the window as she entered the house.

"Well, you've practically went viral already," Damian told her, pulling up that morning's video of her on his phone. She hummed in response, tapping her fingers on the counter. She had a pretty good idea of what she needed to do, but that meant getting Damien out of the house.

He sat down at the kitchen table, pulling her into his lap. "Hey, what's wrong? I thought you said you didn't mind those videos." He hugged her close, and Jalen leaned her head on his shoulder.

"No, they're fine," she agreed. "Say, maybe you should have a guy's night tonight? You haven't hung with them in forever."

Damian looked down at her, cocking an eyebrow.

"We hung out yesterday," he reminded her and Jaylen squinted her eyes. _Drat._ But then Damian did a double take and looked at her – really looked at her, his own eyes narrowing.

"Have you been crying?" She stood up, wiping at her eyes again.

She started to freak out a little, but then an idea popped into her head. She hated how she was so rusty, however quitting cold turkey would do that to a person. She nodded her head, forcing some more tears to fall. It wasn't really that hard.

"I've just been going through some really hard stuff lately, Dio. I think I need a weekend away, you know?" She walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She felt sick lying to him like this. _This must have been how Matt felt, lying for so long to Karen._

She hadn't known Matt for that long, but Asher had talked about it a lot. It was part of the reason he had never lied to her about anything. Not even once. _Secrets are bad,_ he would say, _ask Matt._

Immediately worry flashed into his dark eyes and he cooed at her, gently wiping her tears away. "It's okay baby-doll, I get it. I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me any of this." He nuzzled into the side of her face, and Jalen glared at the wall behind him. This sucked.

"It's not your fault, baby," she continued, "I just need a break for a few days."

"Great, Pumpkin, where we going?" He asked, gently rubbing her back. Jalen cringed. Of course he would be willing to do anything at her request. She had him wrapped around her finger.

"Well, I was hoping to just enjoy my vacation solo. That why I thought you could invite the guys over and have some fun." She pulled away from him, giving her best at an apologetic smile. It really wasn't that hard. Still, his face dropped and his smile turned into a frown and he tried to draw her closer again but she wouldn't budge, instead walking over to their shared bedroom.

She brought out a suitcase, and he sat on the bed and watched her.

"Everything is…everything is okay between us, right?" He asked, his gaze fearful as he watched her pack.

Jalen nodded her head enthusiastically. "Of course baby, everything's fine. Look, I'll just be gone for the weekend and then we can do whatever you want. We'll go to iHop and get some extra waffles to take home to eat while we watch Disney movies, sound good?" It was his favorite thing to do, and Jalen knew it would lift his spirits. He nodded at that, lying back in bed.

"You want to borrow my car?" He asked, staring up at the ceiling. Jalen shook her head before remembering that he couldn't see. She used to make that mistake a lot back with Matt.

"No, it's alright. I'll call a cab."

"Need some money?"

She shook her head again with a small smile. He was so sweet. "No, that's fine. Thanks."

There was silence for a while, and Jalen almost thought he had fallen asleep.

"You going to tell me where you're going or what you're doing?" He asked eventually, and Jalen ran a hand through her hair.

"I'm gonna stay in Hell's Kitchen –"

"With the lawyer?" Damain sat straight up, his eyes wide. Jalen forced herself to laugh.

"No, not with the lawyer! Dio, he's like _ancient._ You have nothing to worry about." She ambled over and kissed his cheek, pushing him back down in the bed. He gave a half-happy grumble and kept looking at her. She stuck her tongue out, placing some last few things into the bag.

She took a deep breath as she zipped it up and turned back to the closet, resting briefly against the wall. Should she take it? Her gaze traveled down to the floor where an old wooden box sat, painted the ugliest shade of pastel blue that she had ever seen. Her hands were hesitant as she bent down and reached for it, skimming across it lightly and drawing lines in the dust.

A small padlock held it closed as she finally picked it up, turning to the bed to grab her duffle. Damian was sitting up again.

"You're bringing the ugly, old wooden box that I'm not allowed to look at?" Jalen fiddled with the necklace under her sweatshirt.

"Yea, I think it's time I got rid of it." She was staring at it intensely, and Damian shook his head.

"Man I don't know what's going on, but I think you should tell me, Jay."

"Don't call me that," she insisted with fire. She had always refused to let him call her that; it was too _familiar._

He backed away, holding his hands up. "'Aight, I'm sorry. I'll see you on Monday, yea?"

She nodded at him, smiling. "Look, I know I'm a little…weird right now, but I just _really_ need a break." She let out a laugh, and stood still as he came over to kiss her. It was passionate and sweet and tore her heart out.

She smiled up at him, and he grinned down at her. "Be safe, have fun." He pecked her again and she was out the door, walking down the street and waving for a taxi.

 _What was Matt's address again?_ She tried to recall as she put her duffle in the trunk, keeping the case and sliding into the back passenger seat.

The ride was like deja vu, and the streets and cars all passed in a blur. Her fingers drummed on the case, a melody which was foreign to her but yet oddly familiar. She could almost remember hearing it before, but it was distant and way too long ago for anything to be clear. The cab stopped and she dropped the man a twenty, her gaze too focused on the apartment building to give a shit.

Retrieving her bag from the back and swinging it over her shoulder, she found herself making her way back to Matt's place for the second time in three hours. The sky was only starting to get darker, and Jalen still felt wide awake. It was probably for the best, given what tonight's plans would consist of.

Using the key she had hid so long ago, she let herself into the building and let her instincts carry her to Matt's place. It was like riding a bike; or so she figured. She never learned that particular parlor trick.

Knocking softly on the door, Jalen only hoped he was home. It didn't really matter; she had a hidden key for this door, too. But it turned out to not be necessary as the door swung open, and Matt stood before her in the same elegant suit from the office.

"Jalen?" He asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Can I sleep on your couch? We have a lot of work to do." Jalen gave a chuckle as Matt shook his head with a laugh and moved over to let her in.

She dropped her stuff off on the couch, putting the case on the coffee table and letting her hands rest on it. She stared at the chipping paint as Matt came over and knelt next to her.

"Jalen, I'm not asking for an explanation, only confirmation. Are you sure you want to get back out there?" His voice was gentle and sweet and brought a calm smile to her face. Being near him again seemed to calm the wild sea within her. It was like slowly unscrewing the top of a shaken soda.

"I don't blame you Matt, but I've been gone a whole year. I've," she choked up, staring hard at her hands. "I've failed him."

"Now listen here, Jalen-" He placed his hand on top of hers, immediately pausing when he felt the box. "You brought his gear?"

Jalen managed to laugh at his surprise. "I didn't want Damian to get ay bright ideas. Ever since I told him he wasn't allowed to look in it, he's been very tempted." She gave a half smile, running her thumb along the worn handle. "I was hoping I could store it here? With my old stuff?"

Matt nodded and stood up, straightening his suit. He walked into his bedroom and Jalen could hear him shuffling around, appearing moments later with another black case. He moved Asher's aside and set it down in front of her, opening it to let her gaze inside.

"I haven't seen this stuff in forever," she breathed, picking up the black cloth. Dirt particles floated away in the rays of sunshine. She snorted, "What, you couldn't clean it up a little?"

Matthew groaned with amusement as he sat down next to her. "I couldn't see where it was dusty," he lied, and Jalen shot him a look.

"Don't give me your bullshit, Murdock. God, you're still so full of it." His smirk grew to match her own as he stared out in front of him, nodding his head steadily.

"Great, I think you're ready." Jalen always loved how gentle Matt's voice was. It didn't matter if he was angry or sad or happier than could be; his words were always like velvet to her ears. He was definitely one of her favorite people to talk to, if not to just listen and appreciate.

She leaned back and laid her head on his shoulder. He was still using the same aftershave. "I've missed this," she whispered. He leaned his head on hers.

"You could have visited," he replied.

"You're the one who told me to get away." It wasn't an accusation or blame, but it almost sounded like one. She closed her eyes and imagined that she was blind, an activity she did a lot when they had first met. It had taken her months to truly believe that he was blind. She used to walk around with her face covered, bumping into things whilst trying to figure out how to navigate. Her mouth twitched into a smile at the memory.

"I told you to go live a normal life, not pretend like we didn't exist." His words brought her eyes open, a frown tugging at the corners of her lips. She knew it was true, but he also knew what her next words were going to be.

"You know I couldn't do that. Not without a change: everything had to go."

There was silence because Matt knew it was the truth. He didn't raise Jalen, but he was as close to a father as anyone could ever get. Cutting him out might have been hardest of all. Jalen was just that type of person - it was all too easy for her to remember things. That's part of the reason she was convinced Asher was a miracle from God; he helped her to forget.

"Did Karen cry?" She had never asked this before, and didn't even know where the words had come from. However, upon asking, she grew increasingly curious.

"Of course she did." Eh, it was the obvious answer. Jalen loved Karen. If Matt was her protective yet adventurous father, then Karen was her kind and watchful mother.

"And Foggy?" Foggy was defiantly the drunken uncle.

"And Foggy." Matt sounded amused as he confirmed her theory.

She snorted, though hated the image of Foggy crying at her expense. "Pathetic." And then, "I'm sorry."

Matt groaned and laughed, looking in her general direction. "Jalen, stop it. No one blames you, okay? So, we made a mistake. You missed some time. But now we're both here and _we're going to find him._ " Matt didn't need to use fancy words or say it outright. His voice was enough of a confirmation to her; a promise that she would hold him too. Yet she believed every word he said and hung onto it like it was her lifeline.

The air was silent for a few moments until Jalen could steady her breathing.

"Good."

The thought of seeing Asher again, however small that chance might be, caused Jalen's heart to go into panic mode. For a second she wasn't sure she w _asn't_ having a heart attack.

Matt laughed above her and she could feel it vibrate through his body, causing her to laugh as well.

"What?" She pestered, nudging him lightly. "What the hell's so funny, Murdock?"

She couldn't see him directly but knew he was rolling his eyes. It was funny, how quick she fell back in synch with everything. It was like she hadn't missed any time – expect she had and she would never allow herself to forget. That would be her eternal punishment.

"It's been five years but your heart still races faster than anything I've ever heard," Matt explained to her, causing color to rush into her cheeks. "I guess that's one way to know its love."

Jalen scoffed and shoved him a bit harder, but couldn't wipe the small smile slowly growing larger on her face.

"So what clues have you collected through the years, old man?" She prodded, eager to get the search started. She could feel Matt shake his head.

"Not yet, Jalen." She knew what that meant. She'd heard it a lot in her younger years. It was his polite way of telling her that she wasn't ready yet, that she wasn't prepared enough. Jalen had learned to accept that he was right, even if she didn't like it. Disobeying him usually led to someone getting hurt, her more likely than not, although Matt had taken many blows for her back in the day. She would always feel guilty for that, too.

So she slapped her hands on her legs and kicked her feet up on the coffee table, on top of her suit. "Great, let me know when you're ready to paint the town red. Or, in your case, black." She stifled a snort as Matt groaned, gently hitting his head on her shoulder.

"The one thing I have not missed has been having you for a housemate." His typical half-laugh rung in her ears and his teasing words were nothing but compliments to her. She knew he meant none of it.

"Oh come on, Matt – I'm a hoot! Got any beer?" He laughed again and got up, walking to his fridge to grab them some drinks. Never mind some things don't change; Matt was completely the same. Except for that new head of greying hair. That Jalen didn't like so much.

Thinking of Matt getting old wasn't something she liked to think about so she didn't do it much. Like with all things she didn't like, she did what Asher trained her to do and pushed it out of mind.

They spent the next few hours talking over a couple of beers, trading details about how their lives had progressed over the long twelve months. He was very reluctant to tell her anything regarding Asher, but she was happy to learn that he had been honest when he told her earlier that day that he had never given up searching. Every night he goes out, he still feels obligated to poke around for any signs. Not that there had been any. Ever.

Then it was dark out and Matt could sense Jalen's eagerness to go. She had been storing away all this pent up energy and emotion for an entire year. Matt knew she needed to get out, but he also knew Jalen so he knew he would have to watch her carefully. She had a tendency of letting her emotions get the best of her.

Matt had suited up before her, and she was absolutely beaming at the sight of the familiar red armor. She, however, took a little longer to get ready, forgetting momentarily what went where. The holders for her knives didn't seem to fit quite like they used to, and she wondered if she had somehow gained weight as she pulled at the tight pants.

A year of lounging about eating junk food rather than fighting criminals in the night might do that to a person.

But then they were both ready to go and Matt nodded to her as she slipped her mask on and was overcome with a sense of satisfaction. Her skin itched and her muscles twitched with the thought of using her knives, and she wondered vaguely if she would need to rely on muscle memory or if she still retained all the knowledge and skills. She was briefly ashamed at having barely worked out for months upon end. She really had left everything behind.

She followed Matt out of the apartment, glad for the fresh air as it hit her mask and wafted up to her nose. They made their way up to the building's roof, her standing aside and letting Matt listen for tonight's danger. It didn't take long; Hell's Kitchen was a dangerous place.

Matt motioned her over, and she came to stand by him.

"Girls begging for mercy," he informed her, cocking his head, "two blocks over. Left." She looked to her left, nodding and turning to Matt only to see he was already on his way down in a serious of jumps and summersaults. She rolled her eyes. He was such a drama queen.

Jogging after him, she met him at the bottom with a huff of breath.

"You're tired," Matt commented, beginning the jog down the street. She shrugged her shoulders and followed him.

"I'm out of practice." He grunted, still easily faster than her despite his growing age. What was he, mid-fifties? Jalen would have to think about it at a later time.

They arrived just as gunfire started to ring out, and Matt swung into the building full-force. She raced after him, pulling a knife out and activating her night vision. The eyes on her mask glowed green.

Luckily the gunfire had been some well-aimed warning shots, but the girls were still screaming nonetheless.

"I said strip!" One of the men was shouting. Jalen's eyes narrowed. The one thing she tolerated least of all with criminals was the nasty shit like this; rape and man-handling. By the looks of it, these girls weren't even out of high-school yet.

Matt beat her to the punch, launching himself at the men with an angry yell. Jalen ran over to the girls and directed them to safety, pushing one of them out of the way when more shots went off. She dove for cover under a desk and waited for the bullets to stop before springing back out, attacking the man nearest to her. She stabbed him easily, right in between where his shoulder connected to the rest of his body. He screamed in agony and she twisted his other arm until it popped, the gun falling from his grip. Slamming his head on the table she was gone, looking for her next target.

But she was already slow. Just that amount of effort mixed with the jog over had nearly drained her as she groaned for breath. Picking up a stapler from the desk she flung it at a man attacking Matt, drawing his attention.

This one aimed and shot at her, but luckily Matt threw a baton at him and he missed. He looked at her with what she was sure was a glare and smacked him so hard with the other baton that he crumpled to the floor. She smiled sheepishly at him.

"Thanks." Their work was done; five men lying unconscious on the ground. Matt was still staring at her.

"Hey, I got one!" She defended herself, groaning when he crossed his arms. It felt like training all over again. "Alright, I'll call the cops." She rung them up as Matt tied the men together to a poll, ensuring they wouldn't be going anywhere.

Though she protested, Matt sent her home afterword as he continued parading around. Something about how she was out of practice and needed to train. Jalen knew he was right but still couldn't help feeling like a burden. So she trudged back to his apartment and changed into some of her old clothes that she found he had kept in the lowest drawer of his dresser. She smiled to herself and gave a promise that she would train as hard as she could for as long as it took until she was in her prime again. At least her knife skills hadn't been too rusty.

When Matt did come home he found her sprawled across the couch, sleeping peacefully with her face pressed into the cushion. He smiled to himself and transitioned to his bedroom, coming back out with a pillow off of his bed and a spare blanket. Tucking her in, he kissed the top of her head and retired for the night.


End file.
